7 Years!

Wow!! 7 years ago I gave birth to Carli on May 26th and 7 years ago June 3rd I had to say good bye to her. I really can not believe it has been that long already. On her birthday I went to the cemetary and planted flowers for her. They are so beautiful! Then that evening we had our yearly tradition of Angel Food cake. We started this tradition for her 1st birthday and have done it every year since. Every year it seems like it is easier but then you have that one or two days that I break down from missing her so much. I know she is in a much better place but I sure miss my beautiful little girl. During this time every year I always seem to think of the what might have beens. Who would she look like, what would she like to do. It's just so hard to not know any of these things. I am very thankful that she helped give me my 2 other children but what would life be like with her?

I miss you so much Carli Joy! My heart will always have a piece missing without you here!

Good bye Jesse Girl!

Today was such a hard day. I had to put our 14 year old black lab down to sleep. Jesse was a dog who was always there. When Carli died she knew something was wrong. She did not leave our side. My husband started a new job not long after losing Carli and had to be gone a lot. Jesse was always there when he was gone. She protected me at night, stayed by me while I cried when I was alone, she just was an amazing dog. I am hurting so bad today. I feel like the last piece of Carli is now forever gone. Christmas is right around the corner and now we are so sad again.
Life has so many ups and downs. It's amazing how one day everything can be so perfect and the next day your hole world can fall apart. We to will overcome this and I will be able to smile when we talk about our Jesse Girl but right now it hurts so much. Carli now has a wonderful dog to protect her until the day that I join her.

Jesse Girl you will never be forgotten and you will ALWAYS hold a very special place in my heart.

It's Been 6 Years!

I have decided to start a blog to share my story with other families that have lost children. I have followed a few blogs and always loved to read their stories. After 6 years no one really wants to hear that you lost a baby, that you still struggle daily with it also. So why not share my thoughts and feelings here. Hopefully my stories will help another family.

6 years ago this past May I gave birth to a beautiful daughter, Carli. Little did we know that night would change the rest of our lives. Carli was my first child. I had no idea what a "normal" pregnancy should be like so I thought I was having a great one. Little did I know everything was terriable wrong.

When I delivered Carli the doctor took her away right away. She was not breathing and they knew something was very wrong. 3 days after she was born we received the devistating news that she had a disease that was not compatible with life. My heart sank into my chest and I sat with my husband and wondered how we would ever life through this. We decided to let Carli decide when she was ready to leave this world by taking the breathing tubes all out of her. She was a fighter and lived for 5 more days. I will never be the same person after losing my precious daughter.